Those ground zero flashbacks never go away like some painful childhood memories best forgotten. You should know that as a nurse. Our neurons do not die until we do, and they are careless with us & our hearts. My X's names sound like a number in Korean & English. I have PTSD every time I do my taxes or get an attorney bill.
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Courage! Ça ira!
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I had a flashback, many unpleasant 1s 2, after reading your brave piece. It reminded me of Jess Ray. Here is one of her lyrics.:
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No Man

Your daddy didn't luv u like u wanted him 2
And you know it well
But no man is gonna love you like He can
No man is gonna love you like He can

You gotta know it well
Your daddy didn't luv u like u wanted him 2
And you know it well
Yeah, you know it well

I know you know it well
But no man is gonna love you like He can
No man is gonna love you like He can
You gotta know it well

Yes, you've gotta know it well
You gotta know it well
And the pain is real, i know the way you feel
But there is 1 way that your wounds can heal

Go set him as free as you'd wanna be
And let mercy bloom on your family tree
No man is gonna love you like He can
No man is gonna love you like He can

You gotta know it well
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Here's another clipped gem:
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Oh what a mystery
The secret of living
Is learning to lay down and die
Just to wake up in the morning
With your heart clean
Free from the misery
From fearing for your safety
And from the tyranny of things