Dismissing the silly things I do
A mate called while writing on Medium
Was like a part-time job that pays no rent
He said, “That silly thing U’ve been wasting hours?”
Are U manic? Aren’t the meds weighing u down?
Aren’t u afraid of lawyers as I am?
Even when I don’t want 2 do I do
Right back before the screen again & again
Even when I do not feel, I just do
Even when I do feel, I still do
Is it love or just who I was bred 2B
2 treat 미 like a child when I’m past midcentury
UR talking 2a father who’s seen daily breakdowns
I bear no grudge, chum, U just brought 미 down
When I wanted 2 shoot the breeze or b-ignored
It can’t be all bad being me though eyes D-spise
If they treat me like a child over-bundled with love
Might as well behave as 1-2 just 2 breathe
Silly poems like this eventually end
He exposed my shame of writing, un-D-nile-able
Because I endured hours of father’s lecture
By my 아버지 on the shame being an artist will bring
A vet, a rocket engineer, or even a priest were not worthy
Nothing was good enough but his perfection enforced
He brought it all back while barfing on Medium
My home and stomach still empty, cleansed of acid
He said life is a bitch and then U die throo our friendship
Finally, I got the guts 2 sew some doubt by golden threads
U can make money pretending 2 be a Medium there
Stay at home and barf all day while being a father 24–7
U can fake it till it binds and cakes in2 fame or ignominy
I forgave him, can I move on 2 other dismissed thoughts?